The Czech School

I may not have mentioned that... This is what daddy calls "a figure of speech". He says that the Brits love these artificial forms of hesitation and uncertainty that only prolong the beginning of the story. Just like now. So, I have not mentioned that in the spring of 2010 Kiki and I started going to the Czech School in Frankfurt. It's not a school, really - I mean, in a proper school you have classes in all kinds of exciting subjects, like chemistry, you get to make friends whom you can punch in the nose, you can buy drugs, etc. The Czech School is more like this place where we go each Saturday morning for an hour or so, we sing in Czech and dance, we listen to fairy tales, that sort of thing. The teachers are real Czech ladies who are doing this for free, simply because they like it. They are nice and always smiling.

It's really great. We all love it, especially daddy who says that he wouldn't know what to do with a free Saturday morning anyway. As part of it, I got to meet lots of Czech kids I did not know before. Some of them have one non-Czech parent, like Kiki and me, others only have grandparents and the like. But all speak Czech, which is like an alternative universe within the otherwise omnipresent German universe around us. Wait a minute - can a universe exist inside of another universe? I asked dad and he said that it's possible if the universe is a matrioshka, which is this wooden Russian doll that you can open and inside of it is another, smaller one which you can open too, and keep doing it until you get to the smallest one which is usually Stalin. I wonder if he really believes that answered my question. Anyway, so after a year of playing games and learning new dances and singing immortal Czech classics such as "Pec nam spadla", "Kalamajka mik mik mik" and "Prusa je uchyl", we got to graduate! And there was chaos, and there was havoc, and everyone wanted to take a picture and nobody wanted to stand still.

The highlight, of course, was receiving our graduation papers with which the Czech Ministry of Education confirms that Kiki and I can speak Czech. Seems like something I knew already, but daddy says that there is nothing like having it black on white. You can then take a picture and send to grandpa and grandma.

By the way, did I mention that Kiki is the prettiest girl in the world and that when I grow up I will marry her? And don't worry, she knows already, and she's fine with it. She just asked me to try not to snore so much.

And then we talked with our best friends Eliska and Jachous, and then we said "goodbye" and that was it.

Is proper school as fun and as easy as that? I hope so!

Summer with Hanichka

I have this little cousin Hannah. She's small and very funny. Well, not so small, really. She's actually two and a half years older than me. But she is still very funny!

Hanichka lives very far from us, in New York, which is a city that, according to dad, Jewish, Dutch, and Irish people set up on the East Coast of the United States so that they could spend their days looking for the best Italian restaurant. Makes no sense to me, really, but human ambitions rarely do. In any case - that's, like, far. So we don't see each other much. So my parents and her parents decided - hey, why not meet in ... Croatia? Why not in Germany where we live, or in the US where they live? I don't know. I think it has something to do with "meeting on a neutral territory", like Gorbachev and Reagan during the Cold War. So we met in Croatia, and it was a very fun week. Hanichka's parents, Valia and Tom, are wonderful people who love her very much.

Then, mom took us a couple of times to a mud beach where we could make figures out of mud.

Then we would put instructions written on pieces of paper in their mouths and they would serve us. (Only those who have recognized the Golem metaphore can continue reading :)). Then, of course, we would play on the beach. The beach in Croatia is like a handkerchief on which a large group of elephants are trying to lie down. Small and crowded - so we spent most of our time close to the sea, or right in the sea.

Now check this out - I speak more English than Hanichka speaks Bulgarian. Which is to say, we mostly understand each other by tickling each other and fighting for toys and laughing most of the time.

Of course, dad contributes to our laughing our lungs out by being the clown he likes to be when none of his bosses is around. How can you work in a bank, I asked him once? It's not a real bank, he said.

We also had our orchestra - but unlike Olivia the pig, there were four of us, and we made noise for four!

And so the days with Hanichka passed in bliss, but then she had to leave for New York, and we waved her goodbye and promised to visit her. And then we went for a farewell lunch. Did I tell you that dad is happiest when he can eat seafood? Disgusting! How can you eat something that comes from the sea? Children pee in the sea. Believe me, they do.

And of course, mommy was beautiful against the blue skies...

... and the liquor was hard...

Croatia with Hanichka - the best summer so far!

Sumava

In the summer of 2010, we had lived in Germany for almost three years already. I personally like it - our room with Kiki has a nice view of where daddy works, there are playgrounds and trees to climb on everywhere, and the icecream is spectacular. But for mom and dad, it gets too much sometimes. Dad calls life in Germany "too much of a good thing". Mommy calls it simply "too much". And so we make trips as often as we can. The most beautiful place that we have been to so far is a forest in the Czech Republic called Sumava. A forest, by definition, is inhabited by forest creatures. One such character is called a Hejkal. He comes behind you in the forest and calls "Hej!" in order to scare you (Mind you, this is the Czechs' idea of how to scare somebody. They haven't seen a zombie movie, apparently. A nice and peaceful nation, what can you do). Others are called "vilas" because they live in the villas of former communist party leaders. Anyway, mom and dad took me and Kiki to meet some of these characters.

These creatures asked us to play with them, and to make hats and cloaks, like the ones they wear. Kiki, of course, was curious and got down to work right away.

But I was not sure these were real forest creatures. Looked too much like poorly dressed actors to me. In any case, I was not convinced. And this is how I look like when I'm not convinced.

Next, we traveled to another part of the forest where our friends were staying. Daddy got to show us how strong he is. If you ask me, he is not really in Olympic shape, so we let him do it only because we are still relatively light.

I also discovered that I don't care for Lego much anymore. Lego is for babies, like Simon. A man needs a stick.

To top off our stay in Sumava, we went to a medieval castle where a count, or a duke, or another such member of the minor aristocracy used to live.

This happens to be a favourite place for making movies about princes who are in love with princesses and who manage to marry those princesses only because they know how to navigate a boat. Which is not what daddy is training for in these pictures - he loves mommy and couldn't care less for some princess. He is simply enjoying the fact that he can ensure the safety of his family in the stormy waters of the lake.

Days of the Czech-Bulgarian-Hungarian friendship

There were times when the Czech Republic, Hungary, and Bulgaria were great influential countries. Or were they part of great influential empires? I always forget. Anyway, these days are gone, but Czechs, Hungarians, and Bulgarians are great friends still. At least in my family circle, that is. To celebrate this enduring friendship, we were paid a visit by Jitka, Laco, and their three children. Jitka is Czech and she and mommy are best friends.

Laco is Hungarian. His ancestors used to terrorize Rome. Or they invented goulash - I always forget.

Their children are absolutely adorable, and it's great fun to play with them, nonetheless because there are three of them! First, there are Dorotka and Julinka. As with most of my girl-friends, I will marry them when I grow up. Hopefully, polygamy will be legalized by then.

Then there is Simon who is still a baby but that makes for a very entertaining afternoon. For example, once can take him in his stroller to our yard. Of course, this is a signal for our fathers that they can lurk in the background and drink beer in secret. I believe daddy calls it "behind-the-scene supervision".

Or one can play with him right after he has eaten and is therefore in good mood, ready to tolerate us all. As a result, we like to abuse his freedom of just lying there and doing nothing.

So we had very peaceful 10 days together. To commemorate it, we took this picture:

And around that time, I took to asking daddy to blow me a balloon and then sticking it under my t-shirt or pajamas. People ask me why. Well, the immediate reason is that daddy and mommy told me about this very fat Czech Politician called Jiri Paroubek whom nobody likes. So I decided to alert the world to the dangers of obesity. And it's fun when you fall, instead of hurting your face, just the balloon explodes with a loud bang!

Sofia, God, and Evelina

When Kiki was still in my mom's belly, daddy took me to Sofia and we spent a fabulous week together, just the two of us. But now Kiki is capable of moving on her own and of interacting with humans, so there is no excuse not to take our girls along! So here we are - off we went to Sofia the four of us, to visit grandpa Ani and grandma Bozhana. As with most of my life so far, it was a week full of revelations. First, I discovered that I look nothing like grandma Bozhana.

Second, it turns out that daddy can shoot. He can shoot a tiger from close range, apparently. Don't believe me?

He can also cross the desert, defeat single-handedly Hanibal's armies, and navigate a raft across the Pacific Ocean. Unfortunately, most of the time he only gets to vacuum the living room and throw out the garbage. So I've taken after him - without the garbage part.

So that's that. I also discovered religion. If I understand correctly, there are a number of people who believe that they should eat fish on Friday so that they can go to a warm and sunny, but excruciatingly boring place after they die. This place is called "heaven". There are also these other establishments where you can practice while you are still alive, those are called "churches" and "monasteries". We went to one of those, right next to Sofia. A beautiful place, actually. There is a river, and a forest, and a water fountain, and all kinds of other amenities. Most importantly, it's really quiet. People whisper in order not to upset this dude called "God" who may send them to this place called "Hell" where, according to dad, most people worth knowing live.

I also met the lady thanks to whom I exist (although most people in America think that I exist thanks to the "God" dude). Her name is Evelina, she works in the teleportation - or was it translation? - business, I always forget. She lives in a city called Plovdiv and she's really nice. Of course, for me "nice" are people who buy me icecream, so she qualified immediately.

So the story is that there were times when daddy and mommy didn't know each other, and there are the times when they do, and Evelina helped them get from the first times to the second. I do believe that nowadays they more than know each other, but I am a gentleman, hence discrete. Anyway - Kiki didn't know what to make of her initially, but then she decided that she wouldn't be here either without Evelina, so she warmed up, eventually.

So that was that - we traveled, we learned new things, and we met new people. And Kiki is becoming quite a princess!