My vacation in the desert

Daddy and mommy are the best! They took me and Kiki to this island where you can run in the desert and swim in the sea. They call it Gran Canaria - let me tell you about it.

First we woke up early, took a taxi, waited at the airport, flew for about 4-5 hours, then traveled by for one more hour, then dragged ourselves to the hotel room, got the stuff out of the suitcase - and all that so mommy could show how great she looks in her bathing suit. I think it was worth it. But that's not all! The best part was that right in front of our hotel there was ... a desert! A real one. So I took my shovel and my friend Gugi, who is a mole, and we went to dig a big hole in the ground, like in the cartoon. And just like in the cartoon, the sand kept falling back, filling the hole once again. Daddy said that this was a fine example of how life imitates art. Or of how art imitates life, I can't remember now.

There was also a swimming pool - and it should not come as a surprise that we spent most of our time in or around it. Apart from when we slept - which was for two hours every afternoon, both me and Kika - so exhausted were we from the morning in the pool! And after that - back to the pool, until the sun set. The pool was bigger than anything I had ever seen before - certainly bigger than the pools we go to in Frankfurt. The water was warm and crystal clear, the sun was shining, a weak breeze running through your hair, the women were practically naked. What else do you need in life? A daiquiri, daddy said, and went to get one.


There were also intellectual stimuli. In particular - a big chess set, where the pieces were heavier than me, but I could still carry them around, or issue orders to whoever was willing to listen. We played several games with daddy and I beat him easily. It's not such a difficult game - you just need to adapt the rules to the situation at hand. For example, it is hardly necessary for the bishop to follow the diagonal when he can take the pawn directly in front of him. And if there is a queen on the diagonal between the rook and the king - you just take the rook and smack the queen away, after which you take the king. Check mate! Daddy gets all worked up how the rules should be followed and how there should be order, but he's lived in Germany for too long, methinks.


But let me tell you again about the desert. It is made of actual African sand which the wind has blown across the Atlantic to Gran Canaria, and molded it into a real mini Sahara. There are dunes, and desert flowers, and ups and downs, and if you find the perfect spot, you can have a sunset in the desert, which is supposed to be the most beautiful kind. Or you can have mommy all to yourself and pretend that the two of you are lost in the desert, and that you should work hard for your survival. Of course, in reality the hotel is 5 minutes away, and there is a buffet and cold beer and hot water. This is the best kind of adventure, daddy said - the kind where luxury is not sacrificed.



And you know the best part? When we were back, I got to take care of a real hamster! I love vacations.

Christmas 2008 = food + grandparents + new toys

I don't remember well my past Christmas holidays. I remember it gets cold, it's snowing, and bus drivers curse. But this time I was already two and a half, and it was exactly the magical experience they say it is! First, everyone gets very tender and gentle and we hug all the time and give each other kisses all the time. Our neighbor says it's because we all get to feel God's grace on us. Daddy says that it's because when it's getting cold, you need someone's body to make you warm. I sense there is a dirty hidden thought here, like with most of what daddy says. But in general he is right - when mommy kisses Kiki for a while, Kiki gets all warm and happy.

Daddy also gets all emotional and wants to hug us and hold us all the time. I don't object - this usually has nice practical implications. Like, he reads to us, or gives us a chocolate, or tickles me until I laugh my lungs out. He also likes to hold us both simultaneously, and he is good at it. Mind you - this doesn't mean that he is fat, just that we are still relatively little.

Then, it really starts snowing, and the Germans get going. Daddy says that there were times when the Germans were mostly good at ransacking Rome. (Mental note - visit Rome. If it's easy to ransack, it must be fun). Then they became good at marching in leather boots in all directions while singing songs about where the German borders should lie. Apparently, others showed them (twice) that they were wrong about the borders, and so they became good at yet other things - like roasting sausages, making cars, and building all kinds of Christmas attractions. It's really impressive - they put up gazilions of pavilions (the title of my first novel) in the center, selling all kinds of sweet stuff, like chocolate strawberries and fried almonds, it's great. And of course - they put up a humongous carousel. This year daddy took me for the first time, and it was fantastic!

Then, just before Christmas proper, we took off by car and went to babicka and dedecek in Ostrava. I love Christmases there because there is so much snow! One day we went out in the snow - Kiki refused to and pretended she wanted to sleep - and I got to make this enormous snowman which looked exactly like daddy. And I don't mean "almost exactly" - I mean "exactly". The nose, the belly - everything.


And then - Jezisek came. Jezisek is this very strong person who carries presents for about 1 billion children and manages to travel the globe within 24 hours in order to deliver them all at the same time. Daddy estimates that this means the man is routinely carrying around 1 million tons of toys and making more than 1000 deliveries per second. According to daddy, this violates at least half a dozen laws of physics, and if they ever catch him, they will give him the Nobel prize. But apparently, nobody has caught even a glimpse of him so far. Only once in Mozambique the police was there one minute after he left, and the only sign that he had been there were the gnawed bones from the freshly consumed chicken.

Anyway - I got a lot of toys! And I got a lot of time to play with them, and everyone was head over heels to read to me! How can you not love Christmas?

Life with Kiki

Last time I was explaining what a great thing it could be to have a sister. But most of the positive stuff I could think of (girlfriends and the like) is in the distant future, so I was skeptical. In the meantime, however, I have seen a whole new world of opportunities: for example, your sister comes with a pacifier - really, that's how they come. And that at a time when your parents are trying to take yours away! So you just tell them: "This is not fair - how can she have one, but not me?" And they just give up. Easy-peasy.


Of course, she has her own merits, and I like her more and more. She mostly lies on her back and stares at the ceiling, or makes weird sounds. Then she wants something of me, but I have no idea what. I go, "Tell me, Kiki, what do you want? I'll do it whatever it is, but you have to tell me, I am no master of telepathy!" (that's a cool word I heard on the TV). But daddy tells me she can't talk yet. But I can! Why can't she? Well, he says, you also didn't talk when you were a baby. I have no memory of that, but I find it hard to believe.


When Kiki was not born yet, mommy was an unmovable object. Well - not really. I mean, she moves a lot, it is her nature to be incapable of staying still. Women in her family are apparently like that - they are afraid if they sit for too long, they may rot away, so they move around constantly. But I'm digressing - I meant to say that we didn't go to cool places out of the city as much as before, because she needed to rest, and we needed to be close to the center in case she starts giving birth, so that there is a doctor or at least a veterinarian around. But now that Kiki is out, we started going places again. For instance, when babicka a dedecek were here last week, we went to this horse farm, and I got to ride a horse while Kiki was sleeping on daddy! Idyllic my life is, I'm telling you that. I said - I'm telling you that!


Generally speaking, I think we are a cooler family now. For example, when we go out, now both mommy and daddy have something to do - one takes care of Kika, the other of me. These days I usually sit behind daddy on his bike, and mommy pushes Kiki's stroller. Then we parade around Frankfurt and hope at least someone would appreciate what a beautiful family we are. Hasn't happened yet, but hope dies last. Ah, and by the way - this is Evicka. She is mommy's friend and my girlfriend. But mommy doesn't know yet. Come to think of it - neither does Evicka.

On the occasion of me being the big brother, mommy and daddy decided to dress me in some funny clothes that my daddy and his daddy used to sport on special occasions like this one. I put a brave face and tried to look like an angel, which was the whole point, I'm sure.