Summer with Hanichka

I have this little cousin Hannah. She's small and very funny. Well, not so small, really. She's actually two and a half years older than me. But she is still very funny!

Hanichka lives very far from us, in New York, which is a city that, according to dad, Jewish, Dutch, and Irish people set up on the East Coast of the United States so that they could spend their days looking for the best Italian restaurant. Makes no sense to me, really, but human ambitions rarely do. In any case - that's, like, far. So we don't see each other much. So my parents and her parents decided - hey, why not meet in ... Croatia? Why not in Germany where we live, or in the US where they live? I don't know. I think it has something to do with "meeting on a neutral territory", like Gorbachev and Reagan during the Cold War. So we met in Croatia, and it was a very fun week. Hanichka's parents, Valia and Tom, are wonderful people who love her very much.

Then, mom took us a couple of times to a mud beach where we could make figures out of mud.

Then we would put instructions written on pieces of paper in their mouths and they would serve us. (Only those who have recognized the Golem metaphore can continue reading :)). Then, of course, we would play on the beach. The beach in Croatia is like a handkerchief on which a large group of elephants are trying to lie down. Small and crowded - so we spent most of our time close to the sea, or right in the sea.

Now check this out - I speak more English than Hanichka speaks Bulgarian. Which is to say, we mostly understand each other by tickling each other and fighting for toys and laughing most of the time.

Of course, dad contributes to our laughing our lungs out by being the clown he likes to be when none of his bosses is around. How can you work in a bank, I asked him once? It's not a real bank, he said.

We also had our orchestra - but unlike Olivia the pig, there were four of us, and we made noise for four!

And so the days with Hanichka passed in bliss, but then she had to leave for New York, and we waved her goodbye and promised to visit her. And then we went for a farewell lunch. Did I tell you that dad is happiest when he can eat seafood? Disgusting! How can you eat something that comes from the sea? Children pee in the sea. Believe me, they do.

And of course, mommy was beautiful against the blue skies...

... and the liquor was hard...

Croatia with Hanichka - the best summer so far!

Sumava

In the summer of 2010, we had lived in Germany for almost three years already. I personally like it - our room with Kiki has a nice view of where daddy works, there are playgrounds and trees to climb on everywhere, and the icecream is spectacular. But for mom and dad, it gets too much sometimes. Dad calls life in Germany "too much of a good thing". Mommy calls it simply "too much". And so we make trips as often as we can. The most beautiful place that we have been to so far is a forest in the Czech Republic called Sumava. A forest, by definition, is inhabited by forest creatures. One such character is called a Hejkal. He comes behind you in the forest and calls "Hej!" in order to scare you (Mind you, this is the Czechs' idea of how to scare somebody. They haven't seen a zombie movie, apparently. A nice and peaceful nation, what can you do). Others are called "vilas" because they live in the villas of former communist party leaders. Anyway, mom and dad took me and Kiki to meet some of these characters.

These creatures asked us to play with them, and to make hats and cloaks, like the ones they wear. Kiki, of course, was curious and got down to work right away.

But I was not sure these were real forest creatures. Looked too much like poorly dressed actors to me. In any case, I was not convinced. And this is how I look like when I'm not convinced.

Next, we traveled to another part of the forest where our friends were staying. Daddy got to show us how strong he is. If you ask me, he is not really in Olympic shape, so we let him do it only because we are still relatively light.

I also discovered that I don't care for Lego much anymore. Lego is for babies, like Simon. A man needs a stick.

To top off our stay in Sumava, we went to a medieval castle where a count, or a duke, or another such member of the minor aristocracy used to live.

This happens to be a favourite place for making movies about princes who are in love with princesses and who manage to marry those princesses only because they know how to navigate a boat. Which is not what daddy is training for in these pictures - he loves mommy and couldn't care less for some princess. He is simply enjoying the fact that he can ensure the safety of his family in the stormy waters of the lake.

Days of the Czech-Bulgarian-Hungarian friendship

There were times when the Czech Republic, Hungary, and Bulgaria were great influential countries. Or were they part of great influential empires? I always forget. Anyway, these days are gone, but Czechs, Hungarians, and Bulgarians are great friends still. At least in my family circle, that is. To celebrate this enduring friendship, we were paid a visit by Jitka, Laco, and their three children. Jitka is Czech and she and mommy are best friends.

Laco is Hungarian. His ancestors used to terrorize Rome. Or they invented goulash - I always forget.

Their children are absolutely adorable, and it's great fun to play with them, nonetheless because there are three of them! First, there are Dorotka and Julinka. As with most of my girl-friends, I will marry them when I grow up. Hopefully, polygamy will be legalized by then.

Then there is Simon who is still a baby but that makes for a very entertaining afternoon. For example, once can take him in his stroller to our yard. Of course, this is a signal for our fathers that they can lurk in the background and drink beer in secret. I believe daddy calls it "behind-the-scene supervision".

Or one can play with him right after he has eaten and is therefore in good mood, ready to tolerate us all. As a result, we like to abuse his freedom of just lying there and doing nothing.

So we had very peaceful 10 days together. To commemorate it, we took this picture:

And around that time, I took to asking daddy to blow me a balloon and then sticking it under my t-shirt or pajamas. People ask me why. Well, the immediate reason is that daddy and mommy told me about this very fat Czech Politician called Jiri Paroubek whom nobody likes. So I decided to alert the world to the dangers of obesity. And it's fun when you fall, instead of hurting your face, just the balloon explodes with a loud bang!

Sofia, God, and Evelina

When Kiki was still in my mom's belly, daddy took me to Sofia and we spent a fabulous week together, just the two of us. But now Kiki is capable of moving on her own and of interacting with humans, so there is no excuse not to take our girls along! So here we are - off we went to Sofia the four of us, to visit grandpa Ani and grandma Bozhana. As with most of my life so far, it was a week full of revelations. First, I discovered that I look nothing like grandma Bozhana.

Second, it turns out that daddy can shoot. He can shoot a tiger from close range, apparently. Don't believe me?

He can also cross the desert, defeat single-handedly Hanibal's armies, and navigate a raft across the Pacific Ocean. Unfortunately, most of the time he only gets to vacuum the living room and throw out the garbage. So I've taken after him - without the garbage part.

So that's that. I also discovered religion. If I understand correctly, there are a number of people who believe that they should eat fish on Friday so that they can go to a warm and sunny, but excruciatingly boring place after they die. This place is called "heaven". There are also these other establishments where you can practice while you are still alive, those are called "churches" and "monasteries". We went to one of those, right next to Sofia. A beautiful place, actually. There is a river, and a forest, and a water fountain, and all kinds of other amenities. Most importantly, it's really quiet. People whisper in order not to upset this dude called "God" who may send them to this place called "Hell" where, according to dad, most people worth knowing live.

I also met the lady thanks to whom I exist (although most people in America think that I exist thanks to the "God" dude). Her name is Evelina, she works in the teleportation - or was it translation? - business, I always forget. She lives in a city called Plovdiv and she's really nice. Of course, for me "nice" are people who buy me icecream, so she qualified immediately.

So the story is that there were times when daddy and mommy didn't know each other, and there are the times when they do, and Evelina helped them get from the first times to the second. I do believe that nowadays they more than know each other, but I am a gentleman, hence discrete. Anyway - Kiki didn't know what to make of her initially, but then she decided that she wouldn't be here either without Evelina, so she warmed up, eventually.

So that was that - we traveled, we learned new things, and we met new people. And Kiki is becoming quite a princess!

A star is born!

Elton John - beware!

Once she loses the pacifier and picks up the mike, you are out of business. Come to think of it - by the time Kiki is out of her diapers, Elton John will be in his. I believe this is what daddy once called "The law of conservation of matter".

Summer of my content

The summer of 2009 brought irreversible changes in my life. Namely - Kiki started trying to monopolize everybody's attention. Quite successfully, I might add. First, grandpa Jarek went down the road to female perdition.

Then, grandpa Ani.

But that's understandable - they are men, after all. More surprisingly, so did grandma Jana and grandma Bozhana.

And even mommy!

Ok, arguably, Kiki is absolutely irresistible - but still! So with an increasing number of members of my close circle growing ever more fascinated with the latest female addition to my family, what was I supposed to do? Make my own destiny, of course. Like a true man. And what does every man nowadays dream to be? Obvious again - Roger Federer.

See the killer instinct in the eyes? That year, once I picked up the racket, my man Roger finally won Roland Garros. Let me win as much as I can before the boy turns into a man, I could hear him thinking. So in a way I was his inspiration. Ah, and his twin daughters were born, but this I have nothing to do with. Ok, admittedly, I also have a more artistic side.

Which makes it unclear if I will become a sportsman or a musician. Or a dentist, as daddy hopes, although he still flosses in case I don't. We also set a new tradition of going to Sumava and riding bikes. Or rather - being driven in a carriage by daddy and by grandpa. And also, staying in these nice B&B places, where you can hide and seek. Kuk!

These places are usually close to the forest, where you can go mushroom picking in the morning, mushroom picking in the afternoon, and mushroom picking in the evening. See, my parents have a very particular taste. Traces from the times when Slavs were hungry all the time, as daddy says. Forget the slavs, I told him - this sounds just like my life! But of course, dad is just half a Slav or something like that, so he is not so big on mushrooms. He is bigger on hugging us and telling us jokes that I don't understand yet.

Before I forget - I turned 3 this summer. My beautiful mommy, of course, baked me a cake, and it was the best cake in the world, and we cut it together, and there was a piece for everyone.

Or rather - there was cake for me, and sausages for grandma and grandpa.

And did I tell you? Kiki loves carousels!

I guess that sums up the summer of 2009 pretty well. Spent it with my family, watched everyone get infatuated by Kiki while still in love with me. I guess you might say, I am one happy boy.